A letter to my only son who is graduating very soon…

I wrote a letter to Bailee when she graduated so I wanted to write one to you and Anna Kate for your graduation. I reread my letter to Bailee recently. One thing I told her in her letter was that I promised to pour into you and your sister during your high school years the same way I poured into her. I have tried very hard to keep that promise and I hope you have felt that from me.

As I sit down to write this I am trying to think of all the things I want to say to you and about you, but one thing just keeps standing out in my mind above everything else and I think it’s because it is the core of who you are…is this word…selfless. I can think of so many examples of why I find this word at the forefront of my thoughts about you, but there are two standing out in my most recently that I even have documented in photographs. To others they would just look like any regular picture taken, but I know what happened right before each picture was taken and both of those were selfless acts of compassion.

The first photo is the one of you and Zach the day we were taking cap and gown pics with all of your friends. Zach had stated more than once how he felt like he was one of the only ones without a Beta cord and stole. Just as we were about to take a picture of the two of you…you said hang on…you literally ripped of your cords and stole and threw them to the side…that’s what had just happened when I snapped this pic. You cared way more about his feelings than wearing those around your neck. I am so glad I caught that on film because every time I look at it I feel so very proud. The other picture was taken just tonight after you were awarded several scholarships at senior night and Anna Kate did not receive any. Before you took a picture with her you handed all of your scholarship folders to me instead of holding them in your picture. She needed that moment from you whether she really comprehended it at the time or not.

Another word to describe you that goes hand in hand with your selflessness is humble. You amaze me at how you would prefer not to have the spotlight on you for your achievements and accomplishments. It almost pains you to be singled out. That is why many of the coaches you have had always describe you as a quiet leader or a team player. You do all you can to help those around you and give no credit to yourself. The example of your humbleness that will always stay with me was in a soccer game this past season…you had already scored two goals in the game and there was a foul in the box which gave your team the penalty kick…you could have taken the penalty kick and tried for your first hat trick in a varsity game…instead you gave the PK to another teammate who hadn’t scored yet. I was more proud in that moment than for any goal you have ever scored. No one else in those stands probably had any idea what you had just done, but you better believe I knew. I could tell dozens of more stories of your humble acts.

I am so very proud of you and who you are. I know with hard work and motivation you can achieve whatever goals you set before you. You’ve always been a goal setter and a determined goal getter! I can’t wait to see what the Lord has planned for you. Just always remember where you came from and Whose you are. He will not steer you wrong. Just like I told AK in her letter…He doesn’t promise there won’t be bumps and bruises along the way, but if you trust in Him you will always find your way!

I love you very much! Hawk ’em buddy!!

Love

Mom

To my baby girl who is graduating so very soon…

I wrote a letter to Bailee when she graduated so I wanted to write one to you and Alex for your graduation. I just reread my letter to Bailee before I sat down to write this one. One thing I told her in her letter was that I promised to pour into you and your brother during your high school years the same way I poured into her. I have tried very hard to keep that promise and I hope you have felt that from me.

I first want to tell you that I think you are absolutely one of the coolest people I know. I feel like I have a front row seat to your coolness and the backstage edition as well. There are so many layers to you that only a handful of people on this earth have been privileged to know and I am glad to say I am one of them. There is one thing that makes me a little sad….too many people haven’t had the opportunity to know you…like really know you. What an unfortunate life for them to not have been a good friend of yours!

Let me tell you the things I love so much about your various layers. I LOVE that “you don’t care”! You don’t care what everybody else is doing or wearing or posting or watching or listening to. You walk to the beat of your own drum and do things your way. There just aren’t many teenagers like that. How you can put a thrifted outfit together that consists of things that probably came out of an 80 year old woman’s closet and make them look cute seriously never ceases to amaze me. How you love to watch the movie Sunday School Musical at the age of 18 the same as you did when you were 8 years old and share it with your friends is so great to me. I love how everybody else is listening to hip hop or country music or Top 40 and you know every single lyric to Broadway musicals I have never heard of.

Another layer I love is a deep one. It is one that someone who doesn’t know you well would never know about you. It is how deeply you care and love your friends. You never want to hurt someone else’s feelings or have any conflict going on…almost to a fault. The anxiety it gives you when you think you may have made someone upset is honestly crippling for you…people have no idea. If they only knew the big heart that lies beneath that tough skin they’d be shocked.

The layer of creativity and talent that God has given you is one of my favorites. I literally check Tik Tok every day to see if you have posted a new song because I love hearing your original lyrics and your amazing voice so much. I love how seriously humble you are about your talent as well. Your passion for your music and your thankfulness for the gift God has given you overrides any self glory or self praise. I hope and pray you will ALWAYS be that way! Always give God the glory for every blessing and gift he bestows on you and the blessings will overflow.

There is so much more I could write about, but just know this…I love you more than you could ever imagine…Every. Single. Layer. God has really showed up with the doors He has opened for you and your future. I cannot promise your next chapter is going to be easy, but I can promise that if you lean on Him and trust Him with every step He will not steer you wrong. He sometimes puts bumps and curves on our path so that we have no choice but to lean on Him…so always remember that when things are tough. Also, when things are going great and awesome….don’t forget to praise Him and thank Him…He has everything to do with those times as well.

You, my daughter, are absolutely amazing. I cannot wait to see the next chapter in your life unfold. Dad, Bailee, Alex, Josh, Sunny and I will be cheering you on every step of the way! Peel away your layers one at a time and let others in…don’t deny anyone the blessing of knowing Anna Kate Simmons because their lives will be blessed once they do!

Congratulations and I love you with all my heart and soul!

Mom

Photo credits to Inspiration4110 Photography for the first two pictures, Cindy Nicholas for the majorette picture and Magnolia Photography for the last two pictures.

Recently, on a Sunday morning In July, I was having the most anxiety I believe I have ever had over a huge life decision I had made. The following day I was literally turning in my retirement papers. I was leaving all I had known for the past 28 years. I was leaving the financial comfort and the professional comfort I had worked so hard for. Why? Because the Lord told me to.

I’ll go ahead and tell you…I did not have some big moment where I heard His deep, powerful voice. Believe me…that would have made it so much easier. No, instead, He prepared me and worked on me for a few years to be ready for this monumental event in my life. The desire to retire and the restlessness I was feeling began immediately in my 25th year of my career. Maybe, because that’s the earliest I could retire and receive my full retirement benefits, but honestly I truly believe it goes much deeper than that.

I now know what I didn’t even know a month ago. God put that restlessness and that desire within me. So I did what any human would do…even a Christian human…I tried to handle those feelings myself. I went and had my retirement numbers run and set up a meeting to understand all of it. I left that meeting very defeated. The numbers that were set before me made me realize I wasn’t retiring anytime soon. Like for real…looking at those made me realize it would be at least 10 years before I could do this. That’s when I began to pray. Should’ve done that to begin with, but I’m hard headed and dumb sometimes.

My prayer was “Lord, please take this desire and this restlessness from me, or please Lord show me a way I can retire and not jeopardize the livelihood of my family.” Well, again I didn’t hear an audible voice, but He told me “not yet”! That wasn’t what I wanted to hear, but I complied and I prayed.

The events that took place in my life from 2017-2019 have been documented and those events were the reason God made me wait. He knew the storms I was about to experience and that I needed not only the stability of my career, but my colleagues…who are also some of my closest friends. He knew I needed to be surrounded by as much love and support He could give me from my earthly friends and family. Through my job, He brought new, precious people into my life that He knew I needed. Did He take away my restlessness and my desire to retire away? Not exactly…He did help put it on the back burner though.

To keep this from being any longer I’ll finish with the short version. The restlessness came back with a vengeance this past school year. When I thought I might breakdown God answered my prayers in a mighty way. He put the retirement wheels in motion and He made it abundantly clear that is what I was to do.

Back to that Sunday morning in July. That old enemy tried to creep into the plans God had for me through way of fear and anxiety. I quickly sought refuge through devotion and Gods word. He met me there and gave me the perfect devotional and scripture to let me know not to worry…He had me. I shared this devotional on Facebook and shortly after received a private message from a sweet friend. She shared the wisdom and scripture that had been shared with her a few years earlier by a mutual friend of ours who has now gone to live in her eternal, heavenly home. This is what she shared: “God uses restlessness to help direct our steps.” She also gave me the verse that had been given to her to lean on and boy am I leaning on it.

Proverbs 19:21 “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”

Today, if God has put a restlessness within your heart or soul…let Him use it to direct your path. I won’t lie…I still have feelings of what if I’ve made a mistake? What if I heard Him wrong? What if, what if….stop! That’s the devil. When you seek God’s face and His path for you…it may not always be easy or obvious, but He will guide you and protect you. Spend time with Him. Spend time in His word. He will not steer you wrong. He may not make it easy, but he will carry you through!

If you live in Alabama like I do then you know we have had more than our fair share of rain lately. I honestly can’t remember experiencing anything like this amount of rain before. It’s probably happened, but at this point in my life it is having a direct impact on me. It is creating a point of stress in an already emotional thunderstorm I am living in.

The storm in my life began about a year ago. Almost a year ago is when we found out Daddy had cancer and that he would most likely not survive it. Almost a week after that mama had a stroke that changed her…majorly. In a week’s time my life and my role in the lives of my parents changed. I, along with my sisters, became the caregiver and the decision maker. Not to mention I still have that role in my household as I’m still raising children. I’m not complaining because I am grateful for the time God allowed me to spend with my daddy caring for him before he went to heaven and the time I’ve gotten to spend with my mama caring for her. As thankful as I am, it doesn’t change the fact that it has been stressful.

Just as storms often do…the one in my life continued to brew. Daddy passed away two and a half months ago. Since then mama’s confusion and condition has rapidly gotten worse. So much so, that for her own safety and well being, my sisters and I have had to make some really tough decisions. We haven’t done so without prayer and peaceful discernment from God; it’s still been hard and some of the most anguish filled times in my life. The storm just keeps on brewing….

…figuratively and now literally. I coach soccer at our high school. I coach the girls varsity and junior varsity teams. Coaching high school girls is not for the faint of heart. When girls tryout to play soccer…they want to play. They don’t mind practicing…to an extent, but they want to play…actual games. Well the amount of rain we have had lately has truly crippled our season and our game time. Trying to keep them interested and engaged in meaningful practice either indoors or on days that aren’t normal practice days is more stressful than you can imagine. Trying to explain to them why you have no control over the weather or the conditions of the playing field due to the weather is harder than you think. This is an added stress into my life’s brewing storm. But so far I’ve been pushing on and trudging through with a fairly positive attitude.

The one ray of sunshine in this raging storm for the past year came to us around the time we lost Daddy. My beautiful daughter and handsome son in law announced they were expecting a baby in July and that they’d be moving back to the states in April! Finally, something we could smile about and something we could celebrate. That calm “during” the storm didn’t last long. Although her pregnancy is healthy and normal so far, her surroundings aren’t. There’s a slight issue going on in the world and is particularly heavier in her part of the world and that’s the Coronavirus. This epidemic has put a halt on their move back to the states and has taken my life’s storm to new heights.

I woke up this morning paralyzed. I literally could not get out of bed. I could not get myself up and ready for church…the one place where I usually can find peace and comfort. Instead I have laid here and thought “I can’t take one more thing!” I just really can’t.

I’ve laid here for at least two hours drowning in my own tears and my own pity party. I think that sometimes we have to have that moment where it all comes crashing down. It’s only then that we can “look up”. I look up and see that God has found me yet again. He knows it all. He knows the storm and He knows how to calm it. He tells me to “be still and know that He is God” and he’s got this. I don’t think I would’ve heard his still, small voice had I gone to church and I think that’s ok. Today my worship time was alone, in my house, in my room. Don’t get me wrong…I need the church…I need my church family…but first I needed to see God and be reminded He is in control and He knows best. He’s in control of the metaphorical storm in my life and He’s in charge of the literal storms too. I don’t know when, but I do know in His time He will calm the raging sea…and all I can do while I wait is Praise Him in the Storm.

My sister started a series called Life with Mom for all of us to write in when we feel led. Tonight I feel led. You see…today is Wednesday…and that means it’s my night to spend the night with Mama. I love my time with her, but this is a blog of reality. The reality is, even though I love my time with her it can also be challenging and heartbreaking because dementia just sucks!

This is what dementia looks like:

You see these bags. These are the bags my mama packs every day because she wants to go home. The problem is she is home. She’s at her house every single day. Even though she is surrounded by her things, photographs of her family, and 28 years of memories, she doesn’t think she’s at home. Even though you can ask her where something is and 9 out of 10 times she can find it, she doesn’t think she is home.

We have used every trick in the book to try to help her understand she is home. Sometimes it works, but only temporarily. I really wish I could get inside of her mind and understand what she is going through. It’s so hard on this side of things. We have learned that it’s not worth arguing with her or spending too much time trying to convince her. We are gentle with her and just love on her the best we can. She gets very distraught and upset at times when she wants to go home and we don’t take her right then. Sometimes we have to ride her around and then let her tell us how to get home. We get here and let her unlock the door with her key. She walks in and is so glad to be home. It could be thirty minutes later or 12 hours later and she is packing to go home again. I bet for her it’s almost like living in the movie Groundhog Day or 50 First Dates.

Here’s the thing…she’s not completely wrong. You’ve heard the saying “home is where the heart is”. Well her heart isn’t here anymore. He went to heaven almost two months ago. Daddy was her home and he’s gone. So it’s understanding she’s searching for home.

Lastly, in a spiritual sense this isn’t her home. It’s just a place she’s passing through. She knows the Lord and one day He will call her home. On that day she will he reunited with Daddy and she will be forever home. Until then, we will do all we can to make her feel at home and to comfort her.

It’s been 3 weeks since the saddest day of my entire life thus far. I have been really numb and foggy since. Today I have been wanting to hold on to everything and every memory of him I have. I searched my journal all morning to see when I wrote about him beginning to get sick again after his burst of life over the summer. When I found it I cried. I wrote about it only two short months before he went to heaven. Then I searched my text messages. I screenshot all of my favorites from him…I love how he always used the most random emojis. Then I realized his voice is starting to fade from my memory. So, I searched my phone for voicemails and found one. I listened to it over and over…and cried.

Today way hard. Tomorrow will be better…maybe. God is still and is always good. My daddy was diagnosed last March. It seemed as though he only had one to two months to live. He lived 9 months from the diagnosis. In those 9 months I had four friends, who I consider close friends, lose their daddies. Most of them had no idea they would lose their daddy before I lost mine. Through their losses they are understanding of mine. I get messages from at least one or two of them every other day checking on me! They are still grieving, but they are checking on me!!?? That’s because they understand. I need them and so many other friends who understand and check on me. I don’t like that any of my friends had to lose a parent, but I am thankful that they use their experience to bless me. I hope…when my mind and heart are ready…that I can use this experience to bless others as I’ve been blessed.

Please continue to keep my mama and my sisters and our families in your prayers. We are all struggling…differently…but struggling. My mama especially. Her heart is broken.

The following is what Bailee read at my Daddy’s funeral today. These were words written by my sisters and me and Bailee was our voice. If you didn’t know my daddy you will after reading these….believe me he was worth knowing.

I am Bailee and I am the daughter of Angie and Robert.  Today I stand before you to be the voices of my aunts and my mom.  They have each written a tribute to their daddy, who was also my peepaw.  I will be reading each of their words for them in order for him to be honored and remembered for the amazing man that he was.  My peepaw was known to many of you by either Dewey or Kanah.  Many of his immediate family members called him Elkanah.  My meemaw always called him “her honey”.  The grandchildren called him Peepaw, but as for my aunts and my mom he was Daddy.  For them Daddy means…Godly, strong, protector, passionate, hard-working, committed, determined and faithful…because those words describe Dewey Elkanah Best.  My peepaw, their daddy and meemaw’s honey.

 

The words of Patricia Best Ward…peepaw’s oldest daughter

My Daddy raised me in a way that shaped my life forever. He shared the gospel with me when I was nine years old in order to teach me what was most important in life- and that is Jesus! He lived the example of what God said a covenant marriage should be.  My Daddy has been there in the worst times in my life and in the best times!  Daddy has loved me unconditionally even when I made poor decisions! He has always prayed for me in everything.  I will never forget seeing my Daddy walking through the ruins of my burned house! His hug meant everything!!

I will miss him with all my heart but I rejoice today that he is in the presence of Jesus!  Love,  Pat

 

The words of Kathy Best Eckermann…peepaw’s second daughter

I am so thankful for the life my daddy lived and the special memories I have. Daddy worked on air conditioner repairs when I was a small child and he often had to do side jobs for little old ladies who wanted only Mr. Best to fix their air. And then when he was hired on at the postal service, it was a great blessing to our family. He and mom made sure we were in church every Sunday, took us on vacations to the beach, and made sure each of us had the opportunity to take piano lessons. Dad would drive my sister and me downtown to our piano teacher’s house on his way to work twice a week after school, and then mom would pick us up when she got off at 5:00. This act of love has blessed my life tremendously by being able to play for church, teach piano, and today, playing for his funeral at his specific request.

My daddy was a Mr. Fix-it and Mr. Determination. He could do almost any kind of job around the house and he helped each of his daughters and sons in law with so many things. In his later years, I tried not to let him know if something was broken at my house because as soon as he found out, he felt it was his job to show up and fix it. 

This is one of my precious memories: I needed a small shelf in the bedroom I use as a nursery. Knowing that my dad had several storage sheds and all kinds of accumulated stuff, I asked him if he had a small shelf I could use in the nursery. He said he would look and see what he had. We hung up and I didn’t think any more about it……until late that afternoon when he called me. My 85-year old daddy had taken it upon himself to go to the flea market looking for a shelf I could use. He wanted me to go back with him to see if any of the shelves he found would work. I felt so incredibly blessed to have a daddy who cared so much about me and the things that I wanted, that he would spend his time, energy and money to provide this small item for me. To me it was a beautiful picture of God the Father who loves us so much that He provides for our wants and needs when we ask Him, and then goes above and beyond by giving us so many more blessings when we don’t even ask.

I will be forever be grateful that Dewey Best was my daddy and for his influence on my life and raising me to become the Christian daughter, wife, mother and grandmother that I am today.

 

The words of Darla Best Perry…peepaw’s third daughter

I’m Darla – daughter #3 – but my daddy called me Duke.  

It’s so hard to put your feelings for one of the most important people in your life, into just a few paragraphs.  But for starters; my daddy was my Hero, my Superman and one of my best friends.  No matter how busy he was, he always had time for me or my sisters or his grandkids.  He loved doing things for us.  He would fix anything that was broken and could build anything we needed.  In fact, I don’t know anything he couldn’t do.  Sometimes when we would ask him to do something; he would respond (with a big grin on his face) “Yallobviously think I hung the moon”?  And I would always answer right back – “You mean you didn’t”?  But on a serious note; we know our Heavenly creator actually hung the moon – but I am pretty sure that my daddy held the ladder for him!!

Daddy was always busy; but never too busy to share his love of life with everyone he met.  He loved gardening and then sharing his bountifulharvest from his vegetable garden.  You never left his house without a pack of peas,a jar of beans, or a bag full of cucumbers & tomatoes.  He also loved sports and was quite a competitor in his day!  He pitched fast pitch & slow pitch softball.  I have watched him many weekends pitching in tournaments until the wee hours of the morning; with guys half his age; and still bring home the championship.  He was also an avid deer hunter.  How many people do you know that can kill 2 deer with one shot – not once, but twice??  Well, my daddy did!   And he was also a skilled bowler.  He could curve a bowling ball just like the professionals!  And way back when; my dad was a race car driver.  But after becoming a daddy, he wisely realized it would be much safer to only be a race car spectator….which is when he developed a deep love for Nascar.  So as you can tell, my dad had only two speeds – full throttle or sound asleep.

My daddy was also a jokester and a prankster.  He loved to pull one over on you!  Even in his final days; he never lost his sense of humor.  Just two short weeks ago; daddy wanted me to put my little dog up next to him in bed.  A short while later; I find a note tied around my little dog’s collar (in my daddy’s shakey writing) that read – I WANT MORE BACON!  

But most importantly; my daddy loved the Lord.  He taught us to love the Lord and he taught each of us how to become a Christian.   My dad has always been there for me.  He has helped me through some of the hardest and darkest times of my life.  He never judged; he only responded with sound advice and unconditional love.  When  it became evident that my dad’s time was short; I was able to tell him just exactly what he meant to me and how deeply and profoundly he has guided and touched my life.  I will forever be grateful for that time.  

So daddy – we will miss you terribly.  Oh how I will miss hearing that sweet voice saying “Hey Duke” everytime I call or walk in their house.

Your kind soul and our cherished memories will stay with us forever.  That sweet precious smile is forever ingrained in my heart.  And although my life will forever be changed; I was so incredibly blessed to be your daughter!   I love you daddy!!  And I will see you again!  Love always, Duke

And the words from Angie Best Simmons…peepaw’s baby daughter

 

Today the world feels so much less safe.  Whenever daddy was around he always gave us the sense of safety.  He was the leader of our home…our protector.  He was always on guard for the safety of his family.  He protected our mom in so many ways…even from us girls.  I mean we all went through those somewhat rebellious times where we maybe had smart mouths or didn’t exactly “honor our parents” the way we were supposed to, but one thing that was NEVER tolerated was smarting off to our mother.  If Daddy heard us do that we were in big trouble.  Let me just say we learned our lessons quickly about respecting our mama.  He protected us too.  He always made sure our home was safe, that our cars were safe to drive and so many things like that.  We just never had to worry because Daddy was going to take care of it.  Our Daddy had our best interests at heart and only wanted the very best for his girls. I recently ran across a note he left on my pillow one night when I still lived at home…It said “Angie, my prayer for you each night is that God will always look after you and show you right from wrong.  Just want to tell you that.  I love you more than you will ever know.  All my love, Dad”.  He prayed for us daily and led us to follow the Lord and I am so grateful for that.

I wouldn’t describe daddy as affectionate as far as lots of hugs and physical affection towards us, but he showed his affection to us through hard work and his servant’s heart to us.  He loved any opportunity to “build” something for us or “repair” something for us.  The biggest compliment we could give daddy was to ask him to fix something or build something for us.  He lived for that kind of stuff.   Don’t get me wrong…he hugged us and loved on us the way a father should…but his love language was through serving us and our mama.  To us…he could do anything!!  I honestly can’t imagine not being able to pick up the phone and call daddy to ask him to fix something for us, or how to fix something, or to build something for me…that’s gonna be hard, but I am so thankful for those memories.  I am thankful for the example he set for us with his work ethic and his servant’s heart because we all ended up marrying men who had similar personality traitsto our daddy.  All of our husbands resemble himin some way…either through their love for the outdoors, their love for sports, their hard work ethic, their love for the Lord and their hearts for serving others.  Our daddy loved these men like his own.  These men were our rocks through Daddy’s illness…they each took care of him in different ways…but just as if he had been their dad their whole lives.  Thank you so much Eddie, Robert, Steve Perry and Steve Ward for all you did for Daddy…and for us.  

Today we sit here with broken hearts, but rejoicing at the same time.  We are rejoicing because our daddy is no longer hurting, he is no longer sick, he is at the feet of Jesus…praising Him…and he is whole and healed.  He is reunited with loved ones…his mama and daddy, his brothers and so many friends and family who went before him.  We are also heartbrokenbecause we will miss him so much.  We are going to miss that infectious smile and that passionate spirit and that determined soul.  We hurt for our precious mama who misses her person…her soulmate…her other half…her “honey”.  This is one broken thing he is not going to be able to fix for us.  Thankfully, he raised us to know THE ONE who is “close to the brokenhearted” and THE ONE who “rescues those whose spirits are crushed” as we are told in Psalm 34:18.  We are “THE BEST” family and we will lean on one another just as we’ve always leaned on our daddy…but we will also lean on our Heavenly Father…because that’s what our daddy taught us to do.  

I will close with words from one of my favorite children’s books and the best way I know to say goodbye to our daddy….”I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always…Forever and ever my daddy you’ll be!”

I can’t wait to see you again Daddy…I love you and ROLL TIDE!!!!

 

Aunt Pat, Aunt Kathy, Aunt Darla and Mama…thank you for letting me be your voices today and thank you Lord for letting me be one of the blessed people who got to call him Peepaw.

 

So I have this certain candy that I kinda sorta have this love-hate relationship with. It’s chocolate with a candy coated shell with the peanut inside…yep you know the one I’m talking about. I’m sure you’re wondering why I call it a love-hate relationship. Well I love it for the obvious reasons…it’s totally yummy and they melt in your mouth not your hand! Does it get any better? However…are there really ever enough in those single serving baggies to satisfy me? This is where the hate part comes in. I mean how many handfuls does it take before I get tired of them…right? Do you feel my pain?? Then there’s that final moment when you get to the last candy coated goodness in the bag and you say to yourself…”surely there’s one more…surely that’s not all!” It’s that pivotal moment when you must do the suspenseful task of taking your hand and smooth out the bag to make sure there’s not a lingering piece of colorful yumminess left in the bag. 99.9% of the time that bag flattens out as smooth as a board, but once every blue moon there’s a lump that makes you stop, smile and reach in to savor one more bite of candy filled joy!

Thank goodness my relationship with God isn’t like this. I mean His goodness and the joy He puts in my heart is ever present and ever flowing. It never runs out and there’s always more where it came from. It always satisfies me. How amazing is it to know there is a God who loves me enough to be there whenever I need Him. His love, blessings and goodness never run out. It’s a love-love relationship. Don’t try to find joy and satisfaction in material things or definitely not in a bag of candy…you’ll never be satisfied and you’ll definitely face disappointment. Put all of your trust and hope in God. He will never leave you and He will never fail you.

Psalm 73:23-26

Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Romans 15:13

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

So chocolate is my weakness when it comes to sweets.  I just love chocolate.  I decided in order to curb my chocolate craving I would attempt to keep a bag of Dove Dark Chocolate in my classroom and limit myself to two pieces a day…three on a Friday or a bad day depending which comes first.  If you are familiar with this brand of chocolate then you know when you open the wrapper there’s always some sort of encouraging quote printed on the inside of the wrapper.  I love that so that’s why I choose this brand of chocolate.  Well, the very first piece I opened had this quote…”Be fearlessly authentic”.

I thought to myself, “Man!  I love that quote!”  It reminds me so much of what I have always wanted for myself, but maybe have not quite achieved. It is what I have tried very hard to teach my children to be.  I have raised them to always be real, to be genuine, to embrace their individuality and mostly, due to their Christian faith, to “live in this world, but not of this world”.

We live in a society where being “fearlessly authentic” is not that easy to do.  We are now suffocated on social media by “influencers”.  Believe me…I’m guilty…I’ve totally been swallowed in by the Instagram Story world of home decorators, beauty bloggers and even teachers who have influenced how I desire my home to look, how I apply my make up and how my classroom looks.  Sometimes I get down on myself because I can’t “keep up” with these people, nor do I have the time or resources to decorate the way they do or look the way they do.  What is wrong with me??  I am such hypocrite!  I am telling my kids to be original and true to themselves and here I am swooning over everyday people on social media!

Don’t get me wrong…I am not judging the influencers or anyone who enjoys watching them.  I am just saying…more to myself than anyone…that it is easy to get caught up in a false sense of reality and who I really am and what I truly desire.  I learned my biggest lesson about this from my daughter…my daughter who I raised to be “fearlessly authentic” and who lives that quote so well…all three of my children do.  I was expressing to my daughter one day how I wish that my house could look the way the house of one of these ladies I watch on Instagram looks.  She quickly reminded me that I have my own unique sense of style and a very nicely decorated house.  She also reminded me that most of these stories and posts are staged to look good on social media and they too probably have clutter and messes in their house somewhere…of course they are not going to post that.  Wow…sometimes I think my kids help raise me!

How is it my children who are ages 20 and 16 (twins which is why I have three) are better expressing their individuality than their almost 49 year old mama?  Well here’s another quote…”I don’t want my kids to follow in my footsteps.  I want them to take the path next to me and go further than I could have ever dreamt possible.”  I have raised my kids to be better than I ever thought about being and to be who I was always afraid to be…myself!  I thank God every day that I have pretty obedient kids and they have done just that.  They march to beats of their own drums, they are not easily swayed by peer pressure and they really do not care what everybody else is doing or wearing.  It is my most favorite common denominator…and there are not many of these…of my kids.  They are my role models in this sense!

So today…let’s all take a lesson from that little chocolate wrapper and go out there and be “fearlessly authentic”!  Just think what a fun, unique world it will be to live in…but not of…if we are all who God made us to be!

 

Two years ago when Bailee was getting ready to graduate I wanted to give something special and meaningful to her closest friends. I came up with the idea to embroidery a handkerchief for each one of them with my embroidery machine. I personalized each one with a different design and their name or initials on it. Recently, I was trying to think of something meaningful to give my 7 seniors and senior manager on my soccer team. I decided to the same for them as I did for Bailee’s friends two years ago. Along with each handkerchief I gave a printed copy of the following….(I did a little editing on it for my soccer team since this one referred to Bailee and her friends, but this is the original version)

I loved my grandmother. I could sit and listen to her talk for hours about the old times. I miss her very much even though she’s been gone for many years now. One of my fondest memories of her was that she always had a handkerchief or as some people call it, a hanky! It didn’t matter where we were or what we were doing she ALWAYS had one. You see “back then” you could buy box sets of pretty little hankies just about anywhere. They always had some sort of pretty embroidery on them. Sometimes the edges were scalloped and embroidered or sometimes they were edged in lace. My grandmother had so many hankies and I always loved to see which one she had each time I was with her. To me they were just the prettiest things I had ever seen.

Not only were they pretty, but they were extremely useful. If we had a runny nose, grandmother always had a hanky to wipe it. If we got food on our face, grandmother always had a hanky to clean it. If we skinned our knee, grandmother always had a hanky to wipe away the dirt. If we were upset, grandmother always had a hanky to wipe the tears. I saw her wipe her own tears many times with her hanky. When she was moved during a worship service by the music or the preacher she would wipe her tears with her hanky. When she saw a newborn baby she wiped her tears with her hanky. When she saw a couple in love get married she wiped her tears with her hanky. When my granddaddy, the love of her life, passed away, she wiped her tears (and mine) with her hanky.

So when I was thinking about your upcoming graduation I decided I wanted to do something special and meaningful for each one of you. Somehow my grandmother and her sweet, little handkerchiefs came to my mind. I thought how neat it would be if each one of Bailee’s friends, who she loves so dearly, had a hanky of her own. I made each one different and personal for you, but the common factor is now each one of you have one.

Use this handkerchief however you would like to. Maybe you’ll be like my sweet grandmother and keep it with you all the time “just in case”. Maybe you’ll put it somewhere safe with other keepsakes. Whatever you do with it I want you to remember it as a symbol of some things. You are starting a new journey that is going to be filled with many “runny noses”, “skinned knees” and “tears”…probably lots and lots of tears. Some will be happy tears, some will be mad tears and some will be sad tears. Also use it to remember to not take things or people for granted. Remember, earlier I wrote that you could buy boxed sets of hankies just about anywhere…well not anymore. I have no clue where to find them. The only place I could find handkerchiefs was in the men’s section of Walmart, but at least they were plain so I could embroider each one personally.

Just like the hankies…my precious grandmother is no longer here. You see none of us are promised tomorrow. As you finish up with school and go your separate ways always cherish the friendships you leave behind. One thing I always tell Bailee is live with no regrets! So how you choose to part the hallowed halls of ECHS and how you choose to leave friends behind are up to you, but just make sure that if their tomorrow never comes that you have no regrets in how you left them. When you pull out your hanky to wipe your nose, clean up some dirt or wipe away a tear may it be a reminder of sweet friends you had in high school…maybe the only true friends you’ll ever have. Don’t take them for granted because they may not always be there! Instead, let your hanky prompt you to think of the other girls who have this little token and maybe call them, text them or just say a little prayer for them!

Soak this time up ladies and savor every moment! It’s a sweet, sweet time! Congratulations and know that I am so proud of each one of you!

Pictured above is one of the handkerchiefs I just made for one of my players along with one of my grandmother’s handkerchiefs. ❤️ Pictured below are our soccer girls who each received their handkerchief at our soccer banquet last week.