This was originally posted on Facebook July 17, 2017
Warning…This may be a lengthy read, but well worth it because the testimony within is so powerful. I think it is important to share her story because someone reading this may be going through something similar or know someone who is. Her story could make a difference to someone’s life, therefore I feel convicted to share. I have her blessing to share this as well.
This is Anna Kate! Anna Kate is my mini me in so many ways, however she is amazingly unique and one of a kind! To know her, and I mean REALLY know her, is to love her even though she can aggravate you to the core sometimes…because the next second she will have you laughing till you cry. Looking at that smile it would be hard to know the complex emotions, anxiety, and spiritual battle that was happening on the inside of this beautiful girl for quite some time. When I look back and try to pinpoint when I saw the battles within her it goes back to 7th grade. She was having a difficult time adjusting to school and there were times that it just seemed like no one took her school struggles seriously. We had to do quite a bit of advocating for her to get everyone on the same page and to realize her potential and how to reach it. Her saving grace that school year was band! It was the only thing that kept her from completely giving up academically…she kept it together so she could stay in band. What I never realized, and shame on me, is she wasn’t leaning on the Lord to get her through that difficult year. We were praying and asking Him for guidance, but I don’t really think she was. BUT…He was always there for her…tugging, nudging and never giving up.
On to 8th grade…so, so, so, much better. She had matured, we had found a better routine to help her in school, band was going great, and she had a teacher who got her…I mean really got her. This teacher found her strengths and her uniqueness and channeled those in a positive direction for her. Having that from the get go of the school year made all the difference. I mean I was still praying for her, but you know how it is when things are going good….we forget to Praise Him and thank Him and we definitely forget to give Him the glory sometimes. Second semester comes along in what I thought was smooth until she started sinking….this time not academically, but emotionally. She finally revealed to me the anxiety and spiritual battle going on within her. You see…Anna Kate accepted the Lord to be her Savior when she was in second grade…right along with her twin brother. The only problem was there never seemed to be growth or real change. I just passed it off as she was still maturing…maybe at a different rate than her twin brother or that her older sister had at that age…oh but hind sight being 20/20 now I know it was so much more than that.
The last several weeks of 8th grade my sweet Anna Kate was battling thoughts that her salvation may have not been true. She began having major panic attacks about death and if she would have eternal life in Heaven. She cried uncontrollably all the time. Nothing could comfort her…we read the Bible together, we prayed together and just when I’d think she was confident in her salvation it would start again. It was hard to discern whether this was Satan playing tricks on her or whether it was God drawing her to Him…I mean she was saved…right?? I sent her to talk with our pastor who was great, and even though she felt better temporarily it didn’t last. My only conclusion of how to handle this was to pray for her. This was within her and for her to work through. We could be there for her, support her, and pray for her, but we could not discern for her or tell her what God was putting on her heart.
Summer break came and she put her focus on a ministry she wanted to start, which is making bracelets with encouraging words spelled out on them to send with mission teams to give out on their trips. This ministry gave her a focus and a purpose. She got so much support from family and friends and the church for this and it made her see what happens when you serve others for God’s glory. She also started a Bible Study that a college student in our church was holding for teenage girls. This Bible Study…I believe…was the catalyst for what was to come with Anna Kate’s story. She also went on her second mission trip to New Orleans and was once again blessed by serving others just to be able to share the gospel with them! She came back from New Orleans with a new spirit and light about her. It’s hard to explain, but it literally was a visible difference about her. Others from church even commented on how they loved seeing her during worship and how she brought them joy through her worship attitude. Honestly, it was hard for me to comprehend because the change in her was so apparent. God was working on our baby girl and He was working hard…because He wasn’t giving up on her!
Well, not too many days ago, my sweet Anna Kate was having a slight set back with some of her anxiety. This time it wasn’t necessarily spiritual anxiety, but just over a minor decision she had to make. Well, minor in my eyes, but not hers. Anyway, she called me in her room and told me she was having a panic attack over the decision she was trying to make, but instead of crying and freaking out…she put her headphones in with her worship music and started praising God. She said as she was in her worship time that God spoke to her heart and told her she needed to be saved. She was given confidence that her first salvation experience when she was in second grade was not a true one because she had really just copied her brother and followed his lead. God spoke this to her…not an audible voice, but through His Holy Spirit straight to her heart. She told me to sit down on her bed and be with her as she prayed. Right then and there…this precious soul…prayed the most beautiful, sweetest prayer and became a child of God, my sister in Christ and received eternal life! This Sunday she will be baptized in order to make the ultimate profession of faith and to be obedient to God. Just know…God draws people to Him in some way or another. Not all will follow Him…Not all will heed to His urging and His drawing, but my prayer is that every single person who took the time to read this essay will look at what He did with my 14 year old daughter…who has grown up blessed, in a Christian home, at church all the time and so on….He never gave up and she heard His call and she followed. Don’t ignore Him when he comes knocking on your heart…accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior is the best decision anyone could ever make! God is always there and He never gives up!
“Draw near to God and HE will draw near to you….” James 4:8
Words of Heart 