About this time last year I was getting ready to send my oldest child off to college…and even though we didn’t have the traditional or conventional full freshman year of college experience we did have a semester. I know what so many of you who are about to send your oldest child off to college or maybe into the work field are probably feeling. It’s one of the proudest and hardest periods of your life…but it’s just one of those steps in life mamas have to face. You can do this! You’ve had 18 years to prepare that baby for this time. This time has come and you can let them fly. I put this quote in one of my previous blogs but I think it’s appropriate here as well…” Just as you had to let go and watch her fall when she learned to walk, so now you must let go and watch her begin a new life, knowing she will fall, knowing that this represents a goodbye of sorts, and also knowing that nothing in this world can sever the bond between mother and daughter.” (a link to the full article: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/sheryl-paul/for-the-mother-of-the-bri_b_1346506.html)…of course this can go for sons and/or fathers as well.
Maybe you’re reading this blog and you aren’t at this point in parenthood…well don’t stop reading because you need to hear what I’m about to say….
When Bailee was headed to middle school we had a little get together with several of her closest friends. My close friend Tish and I decided they needed a little “building up” or a little life lecture before they headed to a new season in their lives. We invited a sweet friend who is like a spiritual mentor to us, and so many others, to be the “speaker” at this get together. The girls knew her as well and love her just as much as we do so when she spoke they were all ears…little did I know but she would also speak to us mothers. She gave us one quote and said if we’d follow it our kids would be ok. I look back and I know this quote made me the parent I am today and made my kids who they are today. Here it is…”prepare your child for the path and not the path for your child”. Yep that was it. But oh so profound!
You see before that quote I had every intention on being a “path preparer”. I mean why not ya know? The path of life can be bumpy, hard, unfair and hurtful. Why would I want my babies to have to suffer through that when I could just smooth it out and fix it for them before they ever had to deal with such difficulty? Right? WRONG! I’m not always going to be there to get those bumps out of the path and see to it they have a smooth “ride”. At some point they are going to have to handle the ups and downs on their own. They needed to learn that early on.
Well let me tell you…it’s an easy quote to remember but a hard one to follow…especially if you are a “fixer”. Many times I would start getting my tools out to get the path ready and that summer afternoon sitting in my den with those girls and my sweet mentor and friends would stop me in my tracks…”prepare the child for the path not the path for the child”. So that’s what I did…or tried to do. We worked hard preparing our children for the path of life. It isn’t always easy and it isn’t always the most convenient thing for us to do, but we just dig our heels in and do it…for the most part…hey we aren’t perfect! When times are hard or when we are ready to throw in the towel we have the power of prayer and the strength of God to lean on…and I’m here to say He is good all the time!
I’m going to tell you something…it all paid off this time last year. When I was preparing to send my baby girl off to college…as hard as it was and as much as I was going to miss her and knowing she’d probably never live under my roof again…I knew she was prepared. She had this! She had been “prepared” the best we could possibly do. She had the tools and the strength to face any obstacle that came her way. She also knew she had a network, so to speak, to turn to if she needed a little push or a little help…God and us! Today that young lady is on an amazing path…it’s not always smooth or easy but she has bound through every obstacle on the course.
We have to pray every day for God to give us the strength to keep preparing the child and not the path because we’ve got two more to go! It’s so hard, but so worth it. The rewards far outweigh the difficulties.
So, whether you have a child beginning college or beginning kindergarten, if you are in the business of preparing paths…stop…pick up your tools and focus on your child. It’s not too late or too early! Get him or her ready for the path. Be their parent, not their friend. The friendship comes in due time. Bailee and I are like best friends now…because my hard work with her is pretty much finished! The twins…well I look forward to being friends with them one day, but our work has really only just begun! But no matter what…I will always be their mama…and I will always be cheering them on as they soar down that path!
Words of Heart 