In Bailee’s words and Bailee’s style

I have invited Bailee to guest blog for me. She was my inspiration to start this blog. I love her story and I think it should be shared! So here she is….

so, my mom has been begging me to do this for a while. but, this is going to be a real laid back, casual, text conversation-like post. actually, i’m typing this on my phone right now. so if grammatical errors, and fragments make you uncomfortable you might want to stop here. this is going to be just as messed up as some people consider my life to be. ha. any english teacher i’ve ever had can testify that i’m awful at writing anyways so i figured i’d type like i normally text.

i’ll tell ya, i have not been through a lot in my eighteen years. no divorced parents, no close family deaths. if you put my life up next to a lot of folks’, you’d say that i’ve had a pretty good one. i’d say that too. but, i have been going through some stuff lately (by lately i mean ever since i’ve been engaged) that has really been changing me. God has really been showing me a lot.

for those of you who don’t know, i was engaged at seventeen years old. still in high school. i have never worried about what people think about me when it comes to decisions in my life because i know who i consult first and that’s Jesus. this time was different. i was terrified of what i was going to face at school the next day. i was afraid of what adults would say. i felt bad for if people would question my parents. well, i was scared for all of the right reasons. when i’ve told people that i’m eighteen, engaged, and moving to Italy… boy. you would not believe the responses. “well why are you doing that? “what are you going to do about college?” “do your parents know?” “that’s stupid.” yes, i’ve had people ask me if my parents know. and yes, i’ve had people tell me that it’s stupid. i’ll tell you why it’s like that. we live in a world where you get looked at like you’re ruining your future if you get married at eighteen, but yet people turn a blind eye to so much immorality my generation is surrounded by.

anyways, the responses i get are old. they get sooo old. so old, that sometimes i’ll avoid some people at all costs. not because i’m ashamed that i’m engaged, but because i’m really not in the mood for people to criticize my decisions that haven’t been made lightly.

well. i have come to the realization that the people who respond to my decisions in horrible ways don’t actually know me. if you know me, then you know that i’m ready for this. that the “college life” is not where i want to be. those who know me know that prayers, tears, and shouts to God have gone into this. those who have conversed with me, especially recently, know that i don’t want to be sitting around eating cheezit grooves in my free time while i wait for a boring 1:00 class to start. i want to go places, and see things that so many people my age will never get to do. i don’t want to waste my life away. i want to spend it with the love of my life, and adventure with him. goodness, that’s what i’m going to do. and guess what. the same GOD that’s in eclectic, and troy… He’s in italy too! that’s MY GOD. He is already there before i even go there. He is going to hold me there just like He holds me here. josh and i will find God wherever we go. and on the days when we feel like God’s not there… when we miss our families, etc. (we’re not perfect, we all have those days) who else will we be able to turn to than each other? we will grow so strong. no one will be able to take that away. we want to seize every God-given breath on this earth in the best ways possible. tomorrow is NOT guaranteed.

i will be doing online classes. trust me, i’m not skipping out on a degree. i’ll just be doing it in a different country. i also will still be lovin’ and trusting Jesus, most importantly. i’ll just be doing it in a different country. no i’m not going to med school, no i’m not a straight A student. but i love Jesus with all i’ve got and i strive to make Him happy over anyone else. i’ve got the most supportive family there is (this includes josh’s family) and the most awesome-est fiancé in the entire existence so i’d say i’m doing pretty good. and i LOVE what i’m doing with my life. and i am SO excited. NO. ONE. can steal my joy. no one.

before i “sign off,” i’d like to say i’m sorry if i’ve ruined anyone’s eyeballs from reading this messy piece of art. also, i’d like to leave some lyrics from one of my favorite songs. take them how you want. but thanks for sticking around to read all this. and thanks to those who support.

“i…i did it all.

i owned every second that this world could give.

i saw so many places

the things that i did

yeah, with every broken bone

i swear i lived.” – i lived, onerepublic