Y’all know by now that I seem to get my thoughts out better through writing. I hope I can do that right now because my thoughts, mind and emotions are all over the place right now. I don’t know if this blog is necessary, but for me it is because it’s a record of the storm my family is in right now and I hope…I know…that one day we can look back at it and see what God did to bring us through it and how He was glorified.
My daddy is sick…very sick. We have begun care through Hospice in order to make him as comfortable as we can. He has a cancer that is evil and aggressive and spreading through his body with vengeance. I know my daddy is 87 years old and has lived a long, good life…but he’s still my daddy and this sucks! Less than a year ago my daddy was out in the Alabama summer heat tending to his garden, hours at a time. My daddy was joking around wearing a pizza hat that was a gag gift at Christmas…only three months ago. Today, my daddy is too weak to get out of his bed and is in pain from the worst disease that’s ever existed, in my opinion. But you know what…he still says he isn’t going down without a fight…he prays a powerful prayer that Glorifies God and displays the faith that he knows God holds the power to heal him if it’s His will…he assures his family he’s a child of God and will have an eternity in heaven when the Lord is ready to call him home…he still wants to know if our mama is feeling ok and if she has taken her medicine…he still holds my mamas hand when she lies down next to him and tells her she’s his sweetheart! My daddy may be physically weak, but he is strong! He is strong because he is a man of God.
You see…my daddy is the patriarch and the backbone of our family. He is our rock and our hero. Our daddy can do no wrong and in our eyes can do anything, so seeing him this way is breaking us to pieces. Our mama….she is watching the man she has been married to for 64 years at the lowest point he’s been in their whole lives. It’s breaking her precious heart. We are seeking our Heavenly Father to take care of us while our earthly father is so sick and that’s the only hope we have right now…our hope and our trust in the Lord to carry us through this storm.
I pray for mercy on my daddy and my family in whatever form that may come. I ask the same prayer of each person who bothers to read this. If you know my daddy…then you know why this is so hard. He is the BEST! He lived up to his name every day. If you have a fond memory of my daddy please feel free to post it so I can share it with him or a word of encouragement you’d like me to share with him.
On behalf of my mama, my sisters and our entire family we thank you all for all you have done for us and continue to do. So many of you have sent cards, brought food, called, visited, and prayed. We are blessed by every bit of it and appreciate it more than you can imagine.
P. S. I hope this explains all we are going through. Please don’t take this wrong but it’s hard to talk about and I just would rather not because I have a hard time not breaking down then I feel like a burden on who I am talking to and like I make everything awkward. I think this blog answers most of what we are going through. Right now a smile and hug will do me good! I’m so blessed with so many good friends, church members and coworkers. I know you who know me will understand what I mean!
Words of Heart 
Sweet Angie I had no idea this has been going on.. My heart ❤️ is with you and prayers. I enjoyed our meal at Christmas before Bailee and Josh went back to Italy .. He was so cute telling us the tip was in the ticket already.. They ate like little birds but he wanted her to eat..He was so concerned about her eating..I told Sim we are so much like them !! What a blessing !! Please give him a hug and kiss for me.. I love you and your family but I know sometime you need your time with your family and alone time to get your head together. If I can do ANYTHING please get a message to Sandi and I will do anything !. GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY DURING THIS TIME OF YOUR LIFE. ITIS NOT EASY!! It will never be the same but you treasure each and every memory and what a wonderful man,husband ,father and a Grandfather he is !! He is truly a sweetie !, love you ,Sue
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Thank you so much Mrs. Sue! Love you!
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It hurts my heart that you are going through this! I am praying for you and your family. As a blogger/wanna-be-writer myself, I totally understand the ability to write what I cannot say aloud – in fact, I journal my way through my biggest battles – it’s the only way I know how. If ever there was a way to beautifully articulate pain, you have done so in this post. It’s a gift. I was once told, “broken writers are better writers” – I remember thinking how messed up it was that someone tried to justify my pain with that phrase, BUT GOD – Of course, He doesn’t break us or allow pain so that we can use our gifts… He does, however, give us our gifts so that when we are broken we can get through our pain. There is nothing pretty about the battle your family is facing. But the picture you painted with your words is simply breathtaking – a family defined by love so strong, it could only be Christ filled. What a legacy! I pray for comfort and understanding for each of you. I pray that when it hurts the most, the red-lettered words in your Bible will wrap you in the promises of our Heavenly Father. Just a former student here, pouring out what you poured in – so many years ago! Much love to you!
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Thank you so much. You are so right that God uses our gifts to get us through the pain. It’s the only way I can get my emotions out. I keep a notebook in purse these days just to write down everything that comes to mind. I am journaling this journey too because I don’t want to forget any details even the painful ones…I want to grow in my relationship with God and my faithfulness through my pain. I would love to know who this is though if you can tell me! Thank you again!
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It’s Stephanie LeBerte McIlwain 😉
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That’s what I thought…I could see those kiddos in the thumbnail of the profile picture. Thank you sweet girl and keep writing. You have a wonderful talent for it.
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I think I know who this is though…
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I’m so sorry Angie! My daddy sounds a lot like yours. He died at 86. No matter the age, it’s still your daddy. You and your family are in my prayers! I pray God’s mercy, grace, and peace for your daddy! ❤️
BJ
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Thank you so much BJ!
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My thoughts and prayers are with you all!
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Thank you so much!
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Angie,
Praying for your sweet daddy and all of you. Prayers for his comfort and peace. Love you.
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Thank you so much Abbie!
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Praying for your family! I cannot imagine what you’re going through! Please let us (Huffstetters) know if you need anything! Hugs!
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Thank you so much Maria! ❤️
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